Some people call me a freak...and that's ok by me

When I was a kid, I made it my mission in life to scare the ever loving crap out of anyone I could get my hands on. Actually – I still do that today. No one was/is safe. Not my brothers, my cousins (especially Paula), my friends – no one. Whether it was telling people at a sleepover that my house was haunted or a haven for vampires, or that the old building down the street was the scene of a mass murder involving little children, I reigned supreme in the fright department. My imagination knew no bounds! After watching The Omen (1976 version), I made sure to check both my little brothers’ heads for the mark of the devil. God only knows what I would have done had I thought I found it. Wow, now that I think about it, that’s a little weird.

I still love scary things (and scaring people…especially my cousin Paula) – movies, TV shows, books, music (the weeping in Morissey's rendition of "Moon River" is creepy) - you name it. There’s just something so fun about the other side. I love the chill that travels down the spine and the hair that raises on the arms when you feel that someone’s there in the room with you even though you know you’re the only one in the building; or when an eerie silence is suddenly punctuated by a soft sigh filled with heartbreak and longing; or when you see something out of the corner of your eye that disappears once you finally gather enough courage to turn your head. I won’t go into detail about how my piano once played itself or how Nate and I captured a ghost on camera, but let’s just say I’m a firm believer in the unknown.

So of course, Halloween is my FAVORITE time of the year (along with Thanksgiving, but that's just because of the food). When I’m not busy reading scary stories, going on ghost tours, or watching countless hours of horror shows that make Nate and my parents question my sanity, I am, of course, baking. For today’s Halloween party at work, I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies with pecans. I also threw in some chocolate chip pecan cookies, which I think were the bigger hit, but the picture came out icky, so I'm not posting it.

Besides, there is much scaring to be done and so very little time.

Happy trick or treating!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies with Pecans

Adapted from: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/crystals-chocolate-chip-pumpkin-cookies/detail.aspx

Just add pecans and don't overbake (I took them out at 17 mins!)

A red stapler kind of day

6:00 a.m.

Mind: Come on, Body. It’s time to get up and go for a run. It’s bright and early and the day is filled with all kinds of promise. You’ll feel better about yourself. You’ll have unlimited energy to carry you through the day at work. You will be sharper, faster, stronger, better, unstoppable. Your day won’t suck if you start it off right. Get it, girl!

Body: You shut up. Shut up right now.

So…that conversation didn’t go as well as I had hoped. The mind can be annoying, but the body is a bitch in the mornings. I’m always looking for that connection that people talk about – where the mind and body are friends and you’re happy and healthy and walking around in the world to the tune of lightly falling rain and Buddhist meditation bells. With the way things have been going at work lately, the only things I walk around with are the chip on my shoulder and an intense desire to punch things.

Pardon the dramatics. But seriously – sometimes work sucks. Like really bad. I need a red stapler.

In much happier news, I did make one good decision this morning (besides not driving my car off a cliff) – baking peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Oh yeeeah!

A little crisp around the edges, yet moist enough to melt on your tongue, not too sweet, but sweet enough…THAT right there is a good connection. Kinda like when I added Raisinets to oatmeal cookies last week:

Now excuse me as I get back to work while listening to Buddhist meditation bells through YouTube.

Peanut Butter-Milk Chocolate Chip "Thank God I didn't Drive Off a Cliff" Cookies
Adapted from: http://www.verybestbaking.com/recipes/30357/Old-Fashioned-Peanut-Butter-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies/detail.aspx

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened (I used butter)
• 1/2 cup creamy or chunky peanut butter (I don't like chunky)
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 large egg
• 1 3/4 cups (11.5-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Milk Chocolate Morsels (I did not use this brand, and I wasn't stingy with the chips either...2 cups)
  

Directions

• PREHEAT oven to 375° F.
• COMBINE flour and baking soda in small bowl.
• Beat butter, peanut butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy.
• Beat in egg.
• Gradually beat in flour mixture.
• Stir in chocolate chips
• Drop dough by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
• Press down slightly with bottom of glass dipped in granulated sugar. (I didn't have time for this step this morning)
• Bake for 8 to 10 minutes or until edges are set but centers are still soft. (Checked them at 8 and added an extra minute)
• Cool on baking sheets for 4 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
• Stuff yo damn face

Requiescat in pace

When I was 6, my dad took me for a ride around our neighborhood on an old bike he picked up at a garage sale. Obsessed with Shel Silverstein’s poem “Where the Sidewalk Ends”, I was always looking for opportunities to venture beyond the confines of our cul-de-sac. Fascinated by the sights and sounds around me and high off of the wind blowing through my newly feathered Dorothy Hamill cut, I lifted my face towards the sun and smiled. How vibrant all the colors seemed, like a moving wall of newly developed photographs come cartoonishly alive. How much bigger everything was back then too - the streets…the cars…the threat of a dog’s bark…the notion of forever.

Delirious with the sheer exhilaration of traveling at what I was sure to be the speed of light, I let my little flip-flopped foot dangle far enough down that it got caught in the spokes for just a second (yes, we were practicing unsafe riding habits at the time, but this was the 80’s and my dad was younger than I am today). The pain was instant, and I immediately erupted into the kind of wailing reserved for little children and the broken hearted. I still remember my dad carrying me in one arm while awkwardly wheeling the bike home with the other. 

Pieces of the conversation we had on our seemingly endless journey home have been lost to me over time, but my dad recently reminded me of one of the questions I asked him on that day. In between pitiful sobs I had asked if the pain would last forever, to which he assured me it would not. And it didn’t. Because that kind of pain can be muted - sometimes with just a kiss and the promise of an ice cream cone (and/or through basic first aid, of course). It’s the other kind – the pain that stems from losing someone or something that can’t ever be replaced – that just goes on and on, losing its sharpness over time, but never really disappearing.

I hate cancer. Really hate it.

Stubbornly fighting off death for as long as he possibly could, my uncle lost his valiant battle against colon cancer on Monday at 9:25 a.m. He was 83, but I thought he’d outlive us all. He was THAT tough. He was a man who favored crossword puzzles, kicked ass at Jeopardy and tennis, and loved the US Marine Corps being a former military man himself during his younger years in the Philippines. He once helped me score an “A” on an essay for my high school Honors English class. The topic was on heroism. He always encouraged me to sing, and I will do that for him at his funeral this Friday. He was  good to me and my not-so-little-anymore brothers, and we will miss him dearly.

Rest easy now, Uncle Se. Thanks for everything.