I still exist….but only just. I haven’t done much baking or singing, but I have been doing a lot of typing – that’s just how things roll at the j-o-b.
Because I am a great starter (not finisher), I’ve come up with a new project that requires me to write down some daily goals for the next 100 days; things like: be kind, keep an open heart and mind, be grateful, don’t eat yourself into a coma, be positive, let go, finish things. I’m on Day 4, and so far, this kid’s doing alright.
It’s hard, though.
It’s hard when I’m eating a salad and all I really want are some damn pancakes. It’s hard to stay positive when cancer is once again rearing its ugly head in my dad’s system. It’s hard to be grateful when people I care about die (RIP Uncle Se and Uncle Don). But I have to try. Because if I don’t…well, a stinking pit of sadness is just an ugly place to be, and life is supposed to be beautiful, right? My dad always says that "Life is what you make it" and I want to make it...for now, I just want to make it.
So I'm going to pick up my heels (flip-flops) and walk out of the muck one step at a time. Wherever it leads me.
