You can call me Hulk - as in Incredible, not Hogan

If I were to ask some of my girlfriends which fantasy characters they most closely identified with, I’m sure I would get the whole Disney princess line or some feisty heroine who saves the day without compromising her femininity or virginity (bwaha…ha).

Now, me? I’m David Banner.  Quiet, unassuming, mild mannered – UNTIL you irritate me. Then it’s stand-back-because-I’m-about-to-bust-out-of-my-clothes-and-smash-the-building-to-pieces time ala Incredible Hulk (Incredible Bulk, maybe). Does this mean I fancy myself a brilliant nuclear scientist on the run? No…nuclear science sounds hard. Do I really want to be a semi-nude green monster running around in ripped purple pants? Well sure, sometimes. Does this mean I have some anger management issues? Probably…but are you really going to call me out on that? Try it. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Anyway, now that I've outed myself as being completely mental, I want to show you a picture of my latest office knick-knack, courtesy of the best assistant in the known and Marvel universe, MD. Because we worked so closely together, she recognized, understood, and accepted the crazy in me, which is how she knew to give me this:

And this:

Without MD to keep me sane during one of the busiest hiring periods of all time, I surely would have destroyed more things than this pen and pencil:

So to honor MD on her last day of work this past Thursday, we threw her a really nice, but depressing, going away party (due to the sorry state of fiscal affairs at this joint, we couldn't keep her).

Since she's a major fan of THE Force, I made these vanilla cupcakes:

And these chocolate ones too, because what's Star Wars without the Dark Side?

And how could I NOT include these little guys? Although once you gnawed off Yoda's ears, he looked scary as hell.

Recipes for green tea and chocolate cookies can be found here: 

http://justjennrecipes.com/yoda-vader-cupcakes/2011/03/27/

Now, these non-Star Wars related chocolate chip walnut cookies are just thrown in here for fun because I made them but didn't share with anyone else, which is off topic:

                                          Recipe for this can only be found in my Hulk head:

I’m particularly enamored with Yoda and Darth, though. See? I made them friends:

If only life were that easy.

Ah well, another party tomorrow - a happy one! I haven't decided what to make yet, but the celebrant is more Boba Tea than Boba Fett,  so I'll have to put my new baking toys away.

Oh, and just a note for future reference....when in the presence of a true Star Wars fan, do NOT, under any circumstance, call the Millennium Falcon a "jet plane that they all fly around in". 

If someone had asked me last month if I was ready for a lifestyle change, I would have responded yes – if by lifestyle change they meant winning the Lotto or something along those lines. That would present a pretty significant change in lifestyle, no? If they meant the other kind of lifestyle change (Translation: YOU NEED TO GO ON A DIET), I probably would have punched them in the face and called it a year.

The truth is I have made a lifestyle change due to a recent meltdown I had at work a few weeks ago. Other people’s stupidity coupled with my body’s knack for high drama of the blood pressure variety, sent me to the nearest Urgent Care. Talk about being scared straight. Stroking out is no joke, people. So - since I don’t want to embarrass myself and die at work slumped over a stack of paper, I decided to drop the food shovel that’s strapped to my back and look for some bad-ass Nikes instead.

I wanted THESE: 

But I'm smart enough to know that this is not the look for a grown ass woman with no historical ties to Hello Kitty or a love of basketball. So I'm stuck wearing my old Nikes for now and they work just fine for the......wait for it......Zumba party! That's right - I ditched the workout and joined the Latin American party bus headed for Fitnesstown, USA. Since I wasn’t losing any weight using only the power of my imagination (I’ve been winning gold medals in my head on the uneven bars since 1984, when the movie Nadia came out on TV), I had to actually…well, move a little.  By God, I’ve become some kind of merengue superstar. I am on my way to kick ball changing my fat from here to perpetuity and I love it. It’s the most fun I’ve had exercising since Richard Simmons’ Sweatin’ to the Oldies 1, 2 & 3 on VHS.

So how does this figure into the whole baking career? It doesn’t. I’m not going to fiddle around with recipes and try to make them healthier. And while I applaud the very few who can turn a vegan dessert into something not akin to dog caca, that’s just not what I do. Interestingly enough, I don’t go hog wild on my own baked goods anyway. I distance myself from the final product, only allowing myself a small taste test to make sure that what I’m presenting is in fact, not only edible, but damn good. Nope. I will continue on in the spirit of full-fat/gut-busting desserts because unlike the Avengers, I can’t save America from space invaders or its obesity problem. I can only save my own fat ass one salt-free, salsa step at a time.

Now for a comparison...

                                         My former breakfast of choice:

                                                   

                                    

                                    And now.....oatmeal with a shitload of fruit                       

I wish I had won the Lotto.