Armed with
every intention to EAT HEALTHY, I went to Whole Foods Market after visiting
Ligaya at Pacific View Memorial Park in Corona del Mar a few days ago. This was
an excursion that was doomed to fail from the second I got it in my head that I
should do a little “casual” food shopping there to the moment I almost got hit
by a texting, BMW driving infant on the way back to my car. Somewhere in the
middle of all that, right smack in the center of the $8.49/lb hot food aisle, I
almost got trampled by a giraffe posing as a human in a pair of red heels.
Oh, those 1%’ers. Sure, I was dressed in my usual attire of fat pants and a
t-shirt with a caramel macchiato splatter across the front, but that’s no
excuse to run me over in a grocery store. Share the aisle, giraffe! I am a creature of God, too. Sadly, I
was not in any shape to brawl due to recently undergoing gallbladder surgery,
so I let her roam on.
Anyway, I got
this all wrong. What happened to the plan where I’m supposed to be better with
my money? Whole Foods may have organic, healthy stuff, but it’s all very, very
expensive. Like super. I saw a few
different cereals for $19.99/lb. A
pound! The hell?! I would be so nervous about wasting that crap that I’d end up
not eating any at all and the whole precious pound would eventually go bad. It’d be just like the year I signed up for a
Massage Envy membership. I hoarded those paid monthly sessions and kept rolling
them over until I had 6 left to use less than a week before my contract was set
to expire. I love a good massage, but I loved the idea of having a treasure
trove of them even more because I have a mental
illness. In any case, I couldn’t pull it
off. It was simply too much to tackle in a span of 5 days. Money = wasted = dumb.
So. Did I listen to the voice in my head that said
to turn back and head for a more fiscally-and-fat-pants-friendly establishment?
Yes.
Until I walked by the seafood aisle and saw the little sign for Hawaiian Poke (raw tuna). I am a major sucka for good Poke, and using some very sound logic that it would be difficult to fly to Hawaii right now to due to severe budget constraints, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to buy some at the bargain basement price of $19.99/lb. I know, I know. But at least it wasn’t cereal! It was so good. I was nice and even shared with Nate for once. That pound went a long way.
Until I walked by the seafood aisle and saw the little sign for Hawaiian Poke (raw tuna). I am a major sucka for good Poke, and using some very sound logic that it would be difficult to fly to Hawaii right now to due to severe budget constraints, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to buy some at the bargain basement price of $19.99/lb. I know, I know. But at least it wasn’t cereal! It was so good. I was nice and even shared with Nate for once. That pound went a long way.
Here's a picture of poke - not the one I bought since I fatty'd out and didn't think to take a picture before consumption.
That wasn’t
my only purchase though. I stumbled across the bakery aisle and decided to
throw my last two shits and dollars to the wind and buy some overpriced cookies
all in the name of market research (I use this excuse too much, I think).
I picked out
two different brands – one for its simple packaging that made it look homemade
and the other based on the description of being “The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies
in the World!” Wow, THE BALLS ON THEM.
Isabella’s
Original = not good. They looked homemade,
but they tasted gross…kinda like wet, chewy chalk wrapped in wet, lumpy toilet paper. I
really have no other way to describe them.
Bart and
Judy’s = these were ok, but the best in the world? No. Bart and Judy, you are
too bold. Too damn bold.
What a bust. I’ll
stick to Famous Amos and Animal Crackers when I’m in the mood for that kind of
prepackaged caca. Oh well, at least the tuna was good. I won’t be going back though. I’m now a reformed spender. I have put the top back up on the Ferrari,
rolled up the windows, and parked it in the garage for permanent. Because seriously...no money, mo' problems.
In other news:
- Gallbladder surgery went well. 2 surgeries in 2 months. Here’s to hoping nothing else gets broken. That means you, Appendix.
- I’m once again part of the work force (part-time only, and I have to say I’m actually enjoying it. It's nowhere near as stressful as my last job and I don’t want to kill anyone).
- The IRS people wrote me back and apologized for their idiot of an employee who asked those gut wrenching questions about Ligaya last month.
- I'm singing the National Anthem at the Angels game tonight when they play Houston (talk about a crap season), and as usual, I haven't found anything to wear yet.
- I’ve held 2 beautiful freshly born babies (Malachi and Reese) and an adorable toddler (Ian) in the last few weeks, and instead of it feeling like I was chewing on a mouthful of broken glass the whole time, my heart grew a million times bigger in my chest and I realized that I still have:
HOPE
- But it doesn't change the fact that I miss my girl so damn much.
- I turned 37 on the 8th, but it felt like just another day because...
- As The Weepies so gracefully put it below in one of my most favorite songs and videos ever....
Me without you
- Just a few more months and we'll hit a year, Baby Bird. I love you always, always, always.
Love, Light, and Ligaya - CS
