And naked cupcakes win the gold! 2012 Olympic dreams with coach Paula Deen

I wasn’t brave enough to attempt these chocolate cupcakes without a recipe this weekend. Cupcakes have never been my strong suit. While I often imagine myself going for the gold in the 2012 Olympics on balance beam (been watching too much Make It Or Break It) and competing on such Food Network shows like Chopped and Iron Chef, Cupcake Wars has never been in my fantasy lineup. My brother will tell you that I’m crazy because I can’t even cook real food anyway, but that’s beside the point. In a universe of my mind’s own creation, me and Paula Deen are homies who spend the night at each other’s houses trading butter fried butter recipes over three different types of freshly made sweet tea. Yes, I know this is weird.  And yes, my brother is right about me not being able to cook real food.

A few years ago I went to Savannah, GA under the guise of “Civil War enthusiast”. Okay, it wasn’t a complete guise. I will admit to being somewhat interested in that particular period of American history. That sounds better than the real truth anyway, which is that I wanted to eat my way across the South. I just HAD to try Paula’s restaurant, The Lady and Sons. I got a little too excited and teared up in the buffet line, but that’s what happens when heaven is no more than a heartbeat away staring you in the face. To be perfectly honest, the fried chicken looked better than it actually tasted, but I've still got nothing but love for Paula. Anthony Bourdain needs to stop with the hate.  And yes, I am a real Civil War geek with a burgeoning stash of Confederate money and a minie ball.

Back to cupcakes.  They scare me. A few weeks ago I hosted a baby shower for one of my best friends. I put together a dessert buffet that included strawberry rice krispy treats, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate and vanilla cupcakes, and other assorted sweets.  Everything turned out so pretty – pink and cream parasols, floating candles as centerpieces (never mind that the sun was still up), picture frames housing cute little baby poems I created myself – it all looked so nice - even the cupcakes with their pink and white frosting. See?

Well, the cupcakes sucked. I overbaked them by about 3 minutes. When your taste tester (my dad) utters, “Wow, what happened here?” that can only mean one thing. Bad. After assuring me that they weren’t THAT dry, I decided against lobbing them at the president of the HOA’s head and put them out for the party instead. I didn’t hear any complaints and even got a few compliments on them, but the guests may have just been mesmerized by these wonderful and inexpensive paper lanterns:

This recipe is much better than the one I used for the baby shower. It's super easy and makes for an almost preternaturally moist cupcake. I still think it could be more chocolatey, so next time I’m going to add coffee to the boiling water, which is supposed to enhance the flavor of the cocoa powder. Other than that and a lack of frosting, they were a success!

I need to step up my game on these because in a few weeks I’d like to participate in the Santa Ana Community Youth Block Party event. My friend Betty Lam is part of a wonderful organization that's helping to make a difference in the lives of these kids.  Please check it out!  http://www.bccoforangecounty.org/Events.html

1000 people are expected to be coming through. 1000! That’s a damn lot of people and cupcakes.  Other than mistakes, I’ve never made 1000 of anything, but I’m going to try. This is my own personal Cupcake Wars - my Olympic gold balance beam routine - and it’s about to get a little crazy up in here. 

Speaking of crazy,  Nate was messing around with my iPad and wanted to draw a picture of me to add to my profile. This is not me. This is a brokedown picture of Abraham Lincoln that started off as me and went in a totally different direction because Nate is a Civil War geek too.

Recipe for moist chocolate cupcakes (that have yet to be frosted)
 Adapted from: http://thefarmchicks.typepad.com/farmchicks/2009/01/moist-chocolate-cupcakes-with-vanilla-buttercream.html

1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 3/4 cup flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup boiling water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Fill muffin pans with 24 cupcake liners.  Sift dry ingredients into a mixing bowl.    Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla.  Beat with a mixer for approximately two minutes, occasionally scraping the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula (or whatever you have on hand - I used a rice scooper).  Add the boiling water (next time I'm adding coffee), and beat, just until blended.  The batter is pretty watery, but that's how it's supposed to be.  Evenly ladle (or pour) the batter into the liners.  Bake for 20-25 minutes (25 minutes? No way, man! I took mine out at 19 and they were just fine), until the center of the cupcakes springs back when lightly touched.  Cool before frosting. (I'll do that part later).